Heaven or Hell

While walking down the street one day a US senator is
tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at
the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you
settle in, it seems there is a problem.

We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell

and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend
eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in
heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator
and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a
green golf course. In the distance is a

club and standing in front of it are all his friends
and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce
about the good times they had while getting rich at
expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on
lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very
friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling
jokes.

They are having such a good time that, before he
realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a
hearty farewell

and waves while the elevator rises..

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on
heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a
group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud,

playing the harp and singing. They are having a good
time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have
gone by and
St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in hell and another in
heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then the senator
answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I
mean heaven

has been delightful, but I think I would be better off
in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the
middle of a barren land covered with waste and
garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up
the trash and putting it in black bags.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around
his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator.
"Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and
club,

and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and
danced and had a great time. Now all there is is a
wasteland full of garbage and my friends look
miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted
for us!"

Avati

So we have a show tonight - comedian Joe Avati. I confess I've never heard of the man, but that's not surprising. Not only am I completely out of touch with popular culture, it's actually his first show in the U.S. So I don't feel too bad about it.

What I do find still troubling is that Meghan, my manager, is away at a volleyball game, leaving me to run the show and Molly to run ushers.

On Friday, the 13th.

Now, mind you, I'm not normally a suspicious person by any means. But this is just tempting fate. Avati's people are running everything that the Box Office normally would except for tickets and ushers, so I feel less confident than usual. And I don't even have Meghan to fall back on if something goes wrong.

Not that anything will.

Right?

Seriously, though, I wasn't even thinking about this until this very minute, so I guess it's not bothering me as much as I'm making it out to.

And on that note, I must fly off to work, kiddies!