BWAH!

Fark.com has a great line-up of news stories today. My favorites so far:

"Woman stabs boyfriend with scissors because he wouldn't stop playing Elvis Presley's "Burning Love." Police aren't saying that was right, but they understand" - Newsday.com

"Inmate kills himself because he found life on death row too "stressful"" - AP Wire

"Judge rules that fetuses don't count as extra passengers for the HOV lane. No word yet whether that ruling extends to include plastic Jesuses and cute cartoon suction-cup felines" - CNN.com

"In a stunning reversal of policy, Ku Klux Klan becomes multicultural, admits first black member. What could possibly go wrong?" - Deseret News